30th Birthday Reflection: 30 Powerful Life Lessons & Things To Try
I turned 30 yesterday.
As I was talking to one of my friends, she asked a very interesting question.
“What is your greatest accomplishment in this past decade?”
My first thought: This is easy!
I gave birth to my son in this decade. The fact that I have been able to take care of him for the past 2 years still blows my mind.
Parenthood is my single greatest accomplishment. Not just in the past decade, but quite literally my entire life.
However easy that answer was, that wasn’t the point of the question. I realize that the question was an invitation for me to reflect on the past 10 years of my life. For me to think about some of the ways in which my life has changed, and to reflect on the accomplishments and lessons learned.
Truth is- The past 10 years have been a period of significant growth in my life. My 20s were marked by a yearning to figuring things out. I call it the era of figuring it out!
While I can’t claim to have it all figured out, one thing I know is that I gave myself permission to try a lot of different things out. Some worked out, others didn’t. Despite that, I am still standing and here to tell the tale.
In this blog post, I’ll be sharing some life lessons that I learned in my 20s. Quite honestly, most of these were learned within the past 5 years.
I hope that you’ll be able to learn something from my journey.
With God First, You Will Never Go Wrong
One thing about me is that I’ll always put God first in everything that I do.
But this wasn’t always the case.
In fact, in my early 20s I went through periods where I doubted God’s goodness and if he really cared about my life. I’ve gone through those seasons where I thought I had all the answers and I could figure it out on my own. I’ve learned the lessons the hard way.
I realize now that putting my trust in God is not just a cute concept, but a way of life that substitutes stress and anxiety for peace. The peace that passes all understanding.
I’ll give one example of a situation that I trusted God for.
When I moved to Toronto in 2017, I moved here with no job and no idea what I was going to do.
I left a cushy job in Calgary and it felt like I was being reckless with my future moving to a new city, where I didn’t have connections.
Not only that, I had just completed my PharmD, so I was ready for a career change. I wanted a job working in at one of the big hospitals downtown Toronto. But I had no hospital experience and remember no connections.
I could have been anxious about the situation, but I chose to Trust in God. I remember kneeling and praying for God to take the lead- because I could not do it on my own. I wouldn’t even know where to start if I tried.
I’ll cut the story short and tell you that God came through for me.
Not only that, he surpassed my expectations.
This is just one example, but I could give you countless more where things worked out in a way that I know I could not orchestrate on my own.
I’m not saying that trusting God means that he has said yes to all my prayers. In fact, I’ve probably got more No’s than Yes’s. Trusting God has given me so much peace.
By trusting in God, I rely on his ability in these situations and not on mine.
This is one lesson that will get you through literally anything.
In my 30 years, Ive had a lot of setbacks, but have never been let down! Not once!
Growth Is Uncomfortable, But It Is So Worth It
I focused heavily on personal growth and development in the past year.
While a lot of it has been centered around building good habits and performing at a high level in the various aspects of my life, I also use the same concepts in my business.
No matter how you look at it, growth is uncomfortable.
It doesn’t feel ‘fun’ …But you know what?
Nothing good ever comes out of your comfort zone.AMARa uche
It feels uncomfortable because you’re about to enter unfamiliar territory.
Your brain, whose primary function is to protect you and keep you alive will automatically resist anything that it is not familiar with.
That’s what happens when you try to build new habits and when you start something new. The resistance is to be expected.
But an important lesson that Ive learned is that growth is always worth it.
Dont let the discomfort stop you from moving forward. Keep moving, and before long, youll be on the other side of that uncomfortable situation.
Life Isn’t Fair
If you keep waiting for the fair thing to happen, you’ll be waiting for a very long time.
Life simply isnt fair.
You need to have wisdom about what you have control over. Work hard within your circle of influence, but understand that life will not always be fair.
You Need To Be A Friend FIRST
In order to make friends, you need to be the one to be friendly. You see in high school, you made friends by being associated with a certain group. But in the real world, things don’t quite work out that way.
I learned that in order to make friends, you need to learn to be a good friend FIRST.
In high school, you may have bene able to get away with being a part of the same friendship group for years, but in real life its a lot harder to make friends.
I’ve learned that when you are friendly, you open yourself up to opportunities for others to be friendly to you.
Theres absolutely no shame in being the one to make the first move.
Don’t Let External Things Validate You
As teenagers, we tend often look to external things for validation. Things like friends, money, prestige, likes tend to may make you feel good for a while, but they are fleeting.
I’ve learned to stop depending on the external for validation. The focus over the last few years has been focused on inner work and self development.
Everything CAN and WILL change
When you are going through hard times, it may seem like youll be in that situation forever, but life really does go on.
I can look back on many times in the past decade where I faced situations that I thought I would never get through. But I got through all of them and you will get through any challenge you face,
The same is tue for good times. Bask in the moment and enjoy when things are working out, because another thing that is guaranteed is that even the good times come and go.
It Ok To Not Have Things Figured Out
If you would have asked me one year ago, where I wanted to be this time next year, my answer would have been simple.
In fact, I wrote in my journal just last year about how I hope to take risks and try new things this year.
I hope to have things figure out in terms of the direction of my life- what I want to do with life and business. I dont need to meet all my goals, I just want to know which direction I want to be heading in so that I can go full force in that direction.
Sure looking back, I have way more clarity than I did back then.
But do i have things ‘figured out’? No waaay!
But thats ok and Im happy with where I am- even though I dont have all the answers.
You will not always have the complete roadmap, but if you can be brave enough to take the first step, you’ll find the next step waiting for you from there. Keep up the momentum until you get to the finish line.
30 Powerful Life Lessons
- With God first, will never go wrong
- Growth is uncomfortable, but it is so worth it
- Life Isn’t Fair
- You need to be a friend FIRST
- Don’t let external things validate you
- Everything CAN and WILL change
- Mom And Dad were right
- It’s ok to not have things figured out
- There’s only one you and that is your superpower
- Stop using time as an excuse- you have all the resources (including time) to succeed
- Time is your biggest resource- use it wisely
- Expressing emotions leads to more intimacy and fulfillment in your relationships
- Every single person on this earth is flawed
- Perfection is the enemy of progress
- It’s ok to ask for help
- Lead with love ALWAYS
- Live in the NOW
- Always Spend Less thank You Earn
- INVEST INVEST INVEST!
- Move your body… even if it’s for just a minute a day, you are really doing something!
- Gratitude is really the secret to happiness
- Your Words Matter
- There’s no point holding on to grudges- pray for those who hurt you
- It’s ok to dream big and want nice things
- Honesty is the best policy
- It’s ok to cry
- You can’t please everyone
- You are doing way better than you realize
- The internet is forever- be careful about how you use it
- Make Everyday Count
Things I’m Going To Work On This Year
Since i’m sharing the things i’ve learned, i figured i would also share what i’m hoping to learn and in the next decade.
Learning To Say No
Like many people, I need to get better about setting my boundaries with people and saying No to opportunities that no longer serve me.
Keeping Up With People
I’m not proud of this one, but i’m terrible at responding to messages and getting back to people. My loved ones know that I have the best intentions, but I’ll admit that I need to create better systems to help me with this.
Speaking Up On Important Topics
I’m usually quite soft spoken and will often keep quiet when it comes to serious or controversial issues. My 29th year was probably the first time that I took a public stand against a cause that was close to my heart. I talked as openly and passionately about the black lives matter movement.
Obviously, a movement that is personal to me, but as a mother, I felt an added sense of responsibility.
I want to do my part in making the world a better place for future generations. If that’s by speaking up on topics such as climate change, gender inequality, racial justice, religion, or any other topic that would previously have made me want to hide in the corner, I will do so for the benefit of my son and future generations.
I hope you enjoyed reading my reflections on my thirtieth year!
I can’t wait to look back at this in 10 years and add to this list of accomplishments.